Dear “J” and “B”,
We have talked many times, we text often. I keep up with you on facebook as I’m sure you do me. Still we know very little about each other. We met over a phone call and are thousands of miles from each other. Yet we chose each other. I chose you to go along with on this crazy journey. You chose me to carry your most precious cargo. I feel like we have already gone through so much, yet we haven’t even started.
The first time we talked I made you a promise and I want to tell you, it still holds true. I am an open book. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I am honest. I will always make sure you are the first to know anything baby related, or not, if it effects me in any significant way. I will always answer any questions you ask me to the best of my ability and honestly. And above all, I promise to take care of myself, and love your child like I love my three nieces and two nephews. I will talk with you with joy about baby plans or comfort you when you have concerns. I will be unattached if so asked, or your best friend. I will hold your privacy as long as you want, or tag you in every single adorable baby thing that I can possibly find. I’ll stay a secret to friends and family, or tell them to add me on facebook to see baby bump pictures. Invite them to visit for appointments you can’t make, be there with you, or be there when the baby is born.
I want you to know that I know this is long awaited for you. Know that this has been long awaited for me too. You’ve heard my story that led me to you, but you haven’t been able to see my heart yet. My life has been filled with joy and pain. I have too, loved and lost. But my heart is forever growing, forever giving. If I could say one thing about me, it would be that I love to give. I have given time, advice, love, money, clothes, food, hair,.. any opportunity that I can find to give something to someone, something that they couldn’t give themselves, I do. I don’t say this with an ego, or a big head. I want no pat on the back or award. I just want you to know, that I truly care. I care about what you want, and I care about what I can do best for your baby.
I know that we are still a month away from transfer, and I know that in your heart you are optimistic, but are still weary that things may not go as planned. I truly believe that what we put into the universe, we receive back. I promise you with all that I am, that I have put out as much as I could (and some days, more than I really could). That in my heart, I know this will work. I look forward to the day that I get to see you hold your child. The day that your family becomes whole. When that day comes, I still want no pat on the back or award. Seeing you happy and together, is all the reward I could ever ask for.
Your loving surrogate.