It came out of no where. I knew it was coming, I started Maternity leave at the end of January. But still, it came out of no where.
Mama B flew from NYC to Austin, Texas on the 23rd of February where her sister lives. On March 1st, she drove into Fort Worth and I breathed a huge sign of relief. Knowing that she was right here made it so much more real, but also relieved a lot of my stress. My biggest nightmare has always been going into labor, and her not being here when her baby arrives. Her mother flew in the same day from NYC so she could also be here when June arrives.
That night I was craving sea food so went and checked out a place called “The Flying Fish”. Mama B, Curtis, all three kids and myself. It was so great just being all together.
As we ate I started having contractions. I tried to ignore them but they seemed to be rather close together. Then in the middle of a conversation I had one that kind of took my breath away. I couldn’t hide it, so both Curtis and mama B decided it was time to start counting contractions. We went home and I timed them for an hour. They were pretty consistent. Six minutes apart. After an hour I called my midwife and asked what she thought I should do, they weren’t strong, and I could even talk through them. But I was feeling anxious because Daddy J still had to get in from NYC and June Bugs Aunt had a three hour drive from Austin to be able to be here. The midwife said it sounded like labor was coming, and to give them the go ahead to come to Fort Worth. Mama B was ecstatic. I called my doula and she said to sleep, if it was labor, it would still happen but I needed rest to have all my energy for labor. So we all went to bed, Curtis called into work, Junes Aunt hopped in the car and dad bought the first ticket he could.
The next morning (March 2nd) I was still having consistent contractions but they hadn’t gotten any more intense. We decided to go for a nice long walk to try to encourage baby, so we went to the zoo.
After walking for a few hours we went to lunch at Risckys BBQ. My doula called me and set out to find a chiropractor who would see me to be sure that June was in a good position and that that wasn’t delaying labor. We went home and I called the midwife to see if I could get in to check what position June was in. I got right in. June was in optimal position for a smooth labor. I went to the chiro anyway. After being readjusted, my contractions totally stopped.
The next day (March 3rd) felt like a bit of a let down. We had rang the bells and set off the alarms, and everyone was just waiting. Waiting for me to pop. A pop that didn’t feel like it was coming. I tried to relax all day, and invited “the family” over to watch the GOP debate and hang out. They brought Chicken Express (we eat a lot ya’ll) and we watched the circus, I mean, debate. It was hilarious.
The following day was my due date, March 4th. I had been so sure that I wouldn’t be pregnant anymore by this point! I was slow moving, each day sleeping less and becoming more sore. At 1;30 we had an appointment with the midwives. The entire crew came (mom, dad, grandma, aunt). June was perfect, measuring on point, still in perfect position, and she kicked the heartbeat doppler. We asked for a membrane sweep, but at 10% effaced, 1 1/2 CM and a “-3” station, I knew it wouldn’t do much. June bug is holding on tight.
I had some contractions after that, but I ignored them. I knew it was not Junes birthday. We went to Central Market for some lunch and had some great laughs. My anxiety started to go down. I knew everyone was waiting on me, but the more time we spend together, the more loved I feel, the more comfortable I am, the less anxious I am.
March 5th was Mama B’s birthday! Curtis had drill so I was home alone, over due, tired and sore, with all three kids. We made some birthday cards and watched some Harry Potter. The kids helped me get the whole house clean and then Curtis and I got dressed up (which we don’t get to do often) to go out to a nice birthday dinner. It was amazing! We were there for three hours. Talking and laughing, all getting to know each other even better. We talking about our pasts, about June bug, we even talked about what our futures looked like. Where we see our journey going from here. How we will be involved in each other lives after this. After all, how do you go through all we’ve been through together and not be family after. This was by far my favorite day all week.
That night daddy J said he was flying back to NYC in the morning, and Aunt A was driving back to Austin. Dad only has so much leave and as much as we love hanging out, we all agree it’s better he gets to use his leave for when his daughter is born. And Aunt A has a business to take care of. They’ll be back when I’m REALLY in labor.
Yesterday was a quiet day for the most part. Mama B came over to watch the Dem Debate, but we ended up watching close to none of it. My close dear friend Kelly was in the area and she stopped in and we sat and talked and laughed and reminisced. It meant a lot to me that mama B got to meet Kelly. I hold them both is very high regard, admire their drive and respect their knowledge.
So here I am, March 7th, 3 days over due. I don’t get more than two hours of consecutive sleep. My hands and feet are swollen. I’m always hungry, but no matter what I eat it gives me horrible heartburn. I’m hormonal and cry over just about everything. But you know what? I’m feeling pretty great. Yeah I just made a list of over due pregnancy complaints, but I’m fine. I’ve been waiting for June Bug for about a year, but her family? They’ve waited YEARS.
I wish more than anything I could hand them their baby girl right now. I’m over all my anxiety, I don’t care how uncomfortable I am, or even if it gets worse. In the moment I may complain, but really, what I’m feeling is so trivial in comparison. Over due. This little girl is for sure over due, but not because she’s still in my womb. And every day is one day closer to her finally being where she belongs. In the arms that have longed for her for so long. I’m just a little piece of this puzzle, but I feel honored to have it.
Whenever you are ready June Bug. I know that you will get here on your perfect day. You’ll be surrounded by so much love, and joy. No rush sweetheart, we all know you can’t rush perfection.