Sometimes you do everything.
You take the meds.
You center yourself.
You avoid stress.
You think positive thoughts.
Your lining in extra thick.
You say “when i’m pregnant” instead of “if I get pregnant”.
You tell yourself you are made for this.
You tell yourself your body is perfect.
You feel love.
You take more meds.
You drink water.
You eat healthy food.
You eat 3 meals a day.
You talk about the future.
You test your levels.
Your body is perfect and ready.
You take a trip.
You thaw an embryo that has been waiting for you.
You think more positive thoughts.
You tell the embryo you love them.
You tell them embryo, welcome to their new home.
You follow the restrictions.
You continue to eat healthy.
You pee on 30 pregnancy tests.
but you don’t feel pregnant…
You get a positive BETA.
You tell people you’re pregnant.
You pee on more sticks, because
you know your body,… and you don’t feel pregnant.
and then you get your second BETA,
and it’s less than half the first one.
because, you’re not pregnant, and your body has played a horrible and cruel joke.
and you wonder if you did something wrong, because you are supposed to be the hero in someone elses story, and you’ve let them down.
why did my body fail me this time?