Tag Archives: 2016

What will you tell your children about 2016?

What will you tell your children about 2016? What will you tell your daughters? What will you tell your sons?

Will you sit your daughter down, and tell her that 2016 was a year to remember? That it will be written about in history books? Will you tell her that you were scared, or that you were angry? Will you tell her that you had a voice? Will you tell her you posted memes on facebook and twitter? Will you tell her that you stopped the conversation, stopped talking to your friends or family because their opinions were different than yours? Will you tell her you called your representatives? That you were a force to be reckoned with?

When you talk about womens problems, will you tell her to keep her mouth shut if a man forces himself on her? That it’s better not to anger him? Will you give her a whistle? Tell her to yell “fire” instead of “rape” because no one will blink if she does the latter? Will you tell her to cover up the body that you grew? Will you tell her that men “just can’t help” themselves? Will you tell her to fight like hell, give her a weapon and pray to whatever god you believe in that she never has to use it? Will you tell her about the man who could just grab anyones pussy because he’s famous? Or will you tell her that it’s ‘normal’ for boys to talk about her body like that behind closed doors?

Will you look your daughter in the eyes and tell her that even though you can’t take organs from a dead body without their permission, she can’t have an abortion, that her body belongs to the will of people who have never faced that problem. Will you tell her that there is no real separation of church and state?

When she tells you about her first boyfriend, will you tell her “not until your 30!” When she’s hot from running around outside with her friends, will you make her wear more clothes than your sons? When she comes home crying because a boy made fun of her, will you tell her that it’s because he likes her?

If she says she doesn’t want children, will you tell her that her life cannot be fulfilled without them? If she has children will you tell her that her career and personal prospects in life are no longer relevant?

What will you tell your sons?

Will you tell him that he doesn’t need to clean up after dinner, or help with dinner, because that’s his sisters job? When he comes to you about his first girlfriend, will you smile and laugh and say how cute it is? When he cries, will you tell him to suck it up? Be a man? Grow some balls?

When he’s old enough to understand, will you tell him that he holds all the power? Will you tell him, that he has a choice? Will you tell him that he can be an oppressor, or choose to fight against it? Be the strongest ally for his sister? That even though he doesn’t know her struggles, he can acknowledge they are there, and chooses not to partake?

What will you tell your children about 2016? Will you tell them that you had a voice? Will you encourage them to have a voice? Will you stop the vicious cycle, or will you continue it?

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What will you tell your children about 2017…

2016: A year to remember

I remember coming into 2016 and thinking, ‘wow, this year is going to be such an amazing year’, and I wasn’t completely wrong. I met almost every personal goal I set for myself a year ago.

Curtis and I celebrated our 10 year “anniversary” in January, and our 9 year wedding anniversary in December. We also made a few steps toward being debt free! Yay!
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In March, almost two weeks “overdue”, I gave birth to little June bug. The day before my own daughters 9th birthday, Brooke and Joe finally got to hold their daughter. My pregnancy, labor and post-partum were all amazing. I ended up with another family that I never expected going into this, and I love them all so much.
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I told myself last January “up or out”. That I would move up in my career or find a new job. Well, I got a raise in April, and then after some stagnation I decided it was time for something new. I started my new job at Central Market right before the new year.
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Not only that, but I also completed my Doula Certification this year! Zen Mama Doula at your service!
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I went home in June and got to see NYC, June bug, and my mom get married. It was amazing.
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A friend took me to see one of my heros. Bill Nye The Science Guy!
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I got involved in politics and made my voice heard. I stood up for things I believe in.
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I said yes to things I was afraid of, and I catered the birthing center for a short time. I made new friends, I saw new things, I went new places. I lived. I spent more time with my family, I laughed more, I loved more.

2016 was hard for a lot of reasons. People died, people suffered, and human rights were questioned. But in my personal life, 2016 will be a year I will always look back on with a smile. With no regrets.

So here is to 2017. May it bring my family and I just as much joy and adventure.

When you feel like you don’t have a voice, find one.

Tonight I had a very humbling and eye opening experience. I attended an Anti-Trump protest.

I’ve never attended a protest before. I’ve thought about it lots of times, I cared about causes. I’ve written my pieces on social media. But I’ve never gotten involved, I’ve never thought my voice mattered.

I’m in mourning. Yes, mourning. At first I was in shock, then I was depressed, then I was angry and then I was bargaining to no one for this to be a nightmare. I’ve gone through this cycle a couple times in the past three days. Trying to understand, trying to process, TRYING to accept.

I turn on the news and see people protesting, and I feel the pull. I need to be a part of this. I need to have my voice be heard. But I’m scared. I’m scared that I don’t matter. I’m scared of being attacked and looked down on before of my beliefs, and I’m scared of “the system”. But then I stop. I am a white woman. I am privileged. How do the minorities feel right now? People I love. LGBTQ. Hispanics. African Americans. Muslims. Illegal immigrants. The disabled. I am a woman yes, and my rights are being questioned. Yes I have reason to be afraid. But others have it worse than I do.

Then I look at my children. “No” I tell myself. Not my children. Not my country.

So I looked into rallies. I looked for one in Fort Worth, my own streets where I feel safe. I find what I’m looking for, and I work myself up about it all day long.

At 6;30 I get dressed in my favorite shirt that shows the phrase “Feminism is the radial notion that women are people.” I grab a bandana as I’ve been instructed to do in order to cover my face. I take my ID incase the police ask for it, I tell friends where I will be and I set out the door. My husband decides to follow to protect me and document the event.

When I get downtown a fight is breaking out. A man with a confederate battle flag in hand is screaming at the peaceful protesters. He grabs a sign out of someones hand and throws it to the ground. A protester tries to grab his flag in retaliation. He jabs at them with it. The police come over and break it up before it gets out of hand and instructs the man to cross to the other side of the street. This is before I even join my fellow protesters.

I stand quietly at first, unsure of what to do or say. Curtis is with the media, not with the protesters. I am alone. Maybe I made a mistake? My adrenaline tells me that is not the case.

Standing on the stairs of city hall people are chanting. “Love trumps hate”. “Not my president”. Calls of “Show me what democracy looks like” is met with “This is what democracy looks like”. The chants change every few minutes. “Who’s streets?” is met with “Our streets”. “What do we want?” is met with “Justice”. “When do we want it?” is met with “Now”. The crowd claps in rhythm with every chant.

There are many signs being held up. Many saying things about the electoral college. Love trumps hate signs. I’m standing next to two young men holding hands on one side, and an older Hispanic woman on the other side. I walk around the crowd and introduce myself to a few people, without asking they tell me one by one why they are there. “End the racism! End the hate!” the crowd starts chanting as we leave our place on the steps and move into downtown. Some cars honk and show solidarity. Some by standers applaud and hold their arms up in support. Everyone is recording us on their phones. The media is everywhere. Some people are being interviewed. We chant and clap and walk peacefully on the sidewalks, the police guiding us safely the entire time. I’m thankful they are there.

Some people scream at us “FUCK YOU!” or “TRUMPS AMERICA!” It feels like a setback, but we get louder. “LOVE TRUMPS HATE!” I don’t have a sign, so I hold my hand up with a peace sign.

I meet a woman who looks to be my age. She has a little girl in a stroller. I tap her on the shoulder and say thank you. She says “It’s her future. She needs to know that we show love, and that we fought for better.” I hold back tears as we walk past a family with three children, what must all of the children think of us and our opposites? We get back to city hall and there an angry loud man, telling us to go fuck ourselves. That he voted for Trump and we lost and we were whine asses and we needed to get over it. We again chanted “LOVE TRUMPS HATE” to drowned him out.

Before we left, the organizer stood up and gave a beautiful short speech. And We all convinced them to hold another tomorrow.

My husband asked me, “What do you want to come of this?” and to put it simply,
I just want to be heard, and to not feel alone.
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